We are scheduled to have our C-section on Tues. I sit here, uncomfortably swollen and fat, waiting for the birth of our baby. It's only 6 more days and with God's grace I think I can handle that.
A friend of mine laughed when I threw a Hanukkah party a few days ago. I was sore and tired, but it was worth it. My last hurrah with only 1 child. I cannot wait for my son to meet his new sibling. He walks around the house carrying a baby blanket with a "baby" in it and offers for me to hold it. Today, he was talking to the imaginary baby in the already-installed car seat. I'd say he's ready.
I will go into all the detail of our decision to have this baby in a later post. It is quite the interesting story no matter what your religious beliefs or worldview is!
Doc says heartbeat is good and my blood pressure is normal. I am already planning the stages I will go through to get off the 50 plus pounds I have gained with this pregnancy (I only gained 20 with my son). The doctor doesn't know, nor does he care that at the time of conception, I was in great shape, working out twice-three times a week, and taught a dance class until the middle of my second trimester.
Other than swollen ankles, hands, back and hip pain at night like you could never imagine (making it almost impossible to get out of bed for say, the many nighttime trips to the restroom), I am extremely blissful and anxious to hold the little one in my arms. A gift from God. So I try to focus on that. I keep telling myself, Don't be a weany...women have been doing this for centuries and the pioneer women had it the worst with all that was expected of them (hello...farming and washing clothes the snail way all day) and nery an indoor restroom for them to relieve themselves before the emergency floodgate opened! So there.
My husband is now off work, first for the holiday this week, then for paternity leave starting next week. We are hopeful he will get 1 week at the tail end to work from home to help with the transition.
Having my son 2 1/2 years ago was very difficult. He was premature, and we lived in a town away from family and not too many friends, and my husband had to go back to work shortly after. My son was VERY high needs and colicky. I was exhausted. I remember one day not having slept for 24 hours. I actually started to hallucinate. I consulted with a breastfeeding consultant or 2 (a life saver) and went to a semi-weekly new moms support group. Those foggy days of mommy amnesia seem so long ago. And yet, I know, to a certain extent, they are right around the corner.
Only this time, my husband will be home longer. Grandma lives closer, and I have wonderful friends I can call on if I need help, to like say, take a 45 minute nap.
And I am praying the temperament of this child will be milder than my son's. Not that I don't love my son to pieces, I am just glad that God gave me my son first. So I could focus on his needs and not have to divide my attention between 2 children, the youngest being the most needy, without a support system. I consider this His grace.
And I know His grace will be there for me with this child as well. He will not give us more than we can handle. We may not always have a choice in our circumstances, but we always have a choice in our outlook and our attitude. And those of us who believe and follow the Messiah Yeshua, we have the greatest gift of all.
We have His constant presence and abiding peace.
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