What Works

As a parent, I am sometimes amazed and perplexed at what works and what does not. And also just how resistant to change I really am. This journey is packed full of surprises and the more I learn, the more I discover how little I really know!

My nine month old is entering toddler-hood (Holy squeakers, Bat Man!) and as he is making the painstakingly slow and at the same time incredibly progressive leap toward independance, I marvel at the seeming contradictions of his development. He wants to be glued onto my hip, yet he tries to leap off of me as a skydiver out of an airplane!

And I'm no child expert, but I've noticed it is during those rapid growth times that he is the most clingy by the way.

As he learns to crawl and pull himsef up as most babies do, I find myself having to be more of a participant than I had anticipated. I thought parents just looked on as their kids sailed through their milestones. I thought my more structured, time and attention-demanding days were far ahead of me. Boy was I wrong! And it could be the relatively high needs nature of my baby, but I find that he demands I be not only his resident cheerleader, but also his coach! Strategizing and anticipating his every next move, all the while keeping the momentum going, I am in for much more of this kinder-care whisperer thing than I bargained for!

And talk about staring our own weaknesses in the face! In parenthood, I am finding that the more rapidly my child goes through change, the more I fight having to change in my own life. We humans, especially we Americans, hate change. We like our nice comfy jobs, our already-worn spot on the pew, our nice cozy cars, and oh, especially our quiet, yet caculatingly social suburban lives. I kick against the goads when dealing with complacency. It is as the Crystal Lewis song "Tomorrow" goes..."Tomorrow is much easier to deal with than today. But when tomorrow comes, I still won't want to change....I want to do right. I want to do right. What is it that's keeping me from change?"

Today as my fussy infant was wanting my attention turned upon him and away from such optional tasks as the laundry and dinner, I discovered something incredibly basic and yet incredibly profound! If I could just lay on the floor, on his eye level (as opposed to just sitting on the floor, head and shoulders towering above him), I could REALLY find out what motivates him. And he listens and responds to me more! Could this easy exercise be the missing puzzle piece to the monotony of my housework-playgroup-strolleride-floortime day?! Can I really tap into the highest motivators of my child just by putting myself in his shoes, as it were, and thus see him fly through his miletones of development?

I don't know. But I do know this: Babies want what we all want- someone to listen to us. To understand us. To relate to us. And if this is what it takes to know my child well and to be able to minister to his needs, then stick a Sherlock Holmes hat on me and call me a pragmatist...because I'm going with what works!!